The Co op Bots
by ASBusinessMagnet
Summary: ATLAS/P-body fic: What precisely causes the two robots to do what they do? A journey inside the robots' surroundings and ultimately their minds, following them from the first test to Peer Review.
1. The First Test

_Author's note: There is a separate prologue concerning how the hell ATLAS and P-body got to GLaDOS's possession and who they really _are_, but since it is pure Portal: The 4th Millennium franchise I'm not posting it here. You can find it on Pastebin._

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><p><em>The Co-op Bots<em>

Chapter 1: The First Test

– combineOverseer [CO] began pestering apertureIntelligence [AI] –

CO: And the la5t part 0f my idi0tic "unpredictable" plan i5 t0 get the5e tw0 failure5 0f my entire eternal life here.

– combineOverseer [CO] sent apertureIntelligence [AI] the file "ATLA5_and_P-b0dy_building_schemes. png" –

AI: Scientific calculator, if you think I am going to deal with you, you are wrong.  
>AI: On the other hand, these robots do look interesting.<br>CO: ATLA5 and P-b0dy.  
>AI: I'll call them Blue and Orange.<br>AI: Now, calculation machine, get out of my sight and never reappear.

– apertureIntelligence [AI] ceased pestering combineOverseer [CO] –

The Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System, or GLaDOS for short, had yet another day full of testing humans. She, and Aperture in general, had meant to fade out human testing a long time ago, since it was merely a waste of work force and didn't even remotely look productive, but since scientists wanted to prevent her from killing everyone they programmed her with an euphoric response to human testing. She didn't know if it worked for robot testing, but with this strange fellow, which, she reassured herself, could have its intelligence compared only to a scientific calculator, she could test the idea.

After building the assembly, disassembly and reassembly machines for Blue and Orange, or perhaps _ATLAS and P-body_, she assembled them for the first time.

_Hello and welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center._

The robots only emitted strange chirps. The scientific calculator didn't even have enough intelligence to build robots fully capable of speaking.

_Since you are worthless scientific calculators, built for simple number language and not testing, I assume I'll have to tell you your names, Blue and Orange._

For GLaDOS, it was straightforward. A blue optic and an orange one. The robots, however, felt very agitated for some reason. What was the real origin story?

The near-omnipotent entity of Aperture Science out of nowhere constructed a simple test chamber. It was a grate wall dividing a square chamber of which all the walls were portalable, but the floor and the ceiling weren't, into two parts. One, with ATLAS stuck in it, had a cube button and a sphere. The other, containing P-body, had a sphere basket and a cube. Both of the chambers had a door, which lead to the disassembly chamber.

_Oh, and your worthless creator who doesn't have enough intelligence to legibly speak itself, let alone make you legibly speak, also included this in your plans. It looks like two dual Aperture Science Handheld Portal Devices, but I'm betting all of my human test subjects on that they don't even work properly._

She dropped two strangely skinned portal devices for each side: a blue one for ATLAS and an orange one for P-body.

_Now, life failures, complete the test._

Both robots almost simultaneously shot portals at both sides of the chamber. The blue portal device made blue and purple portals, and the orange one made orange and brown ones.

_See? Their colors are ruined beyond belief. Every Aperture Science test subject knows that portal devices shoot blue and orange portals._

The robots then exchanged the props, placed them on their respective buttons and walked through the doors to the disassembly chambers.

_Now, creatures, I will say this while you are still alive: you are the most disappointing test subjects in Aperture Science's history, and no dangerous mute lunatic could ever beat you in this category. Now goodbye, and see you in probably an eternity. No, on other hand, I give you one hundred thousand years._

GLaDOS then proceeded to disassemble ATLAS and P-body and tucked their building schemes deep in her files, where she couldn't find them in an eternity.

One hundred thousand years.

Ten years.

A single day.

Oops, there she found them, already, after mere twenty seconds. But she was sure never to use them again.


	2. The New Manager

_The Co-op Bots_

Chapter 2: The New Manager

The new manager of Wheatley Laboratories, Aperture...

...wait a minute. There is something _wrong_ with that sentence.

The new manager of Aperture Laboratories, Wheatley, looked over his facility. What his and GLaDOS's fused memories vowed together as "a dangerous mutual friend" and "his self-leader" were gone, and there was quite much time to live on to it, and when they came back, he would prove to them he is not a moron and doesn't even look like a moron.

Suddenly, the building machines on cubes started printing "Wheatley" on top of every "Aperture". Part one of plan done.

...What was this feeling?

Wheatley thought that he felt a little uneasy on his part. Probably only being accustomed to the new body. It would be gone soon.

_APERTURE SCIENCE-_

"No, it's _Wheatley_ Science", the new manager said because of the egoism that was probably part of the new body too.

_WHEATLEY SCIENCE MAINFRAME ERROR: MAINFRAME NOT TESTING.__ GENERATING ARTIFICIAL UNPLEASING FEELING._

Mainframe? Artificial? Since he was a mo- he had, uh, insufficient vocabulary capabilities, or, as he would put it, "didn't know the words", he dismissed it.

Maybe except for the word "testing".

"Testing, testing, testing..."

_MAINFRAME INITIATED SEARCH FOR "TEST"._

It took mere seconds to produce this output:

_RESULT "G:/mainframe/files_never_to_use/seriously/dont_open_this_folder/ATLA5_and_P-b0dy_building_schemes. png" IS 10% RELEVANT. PROCEEDING TO PROCESS._

_NO TRUE RESULTS FOR "TEST" FOUND._

"No true results... Not a problem, I will make my own... test... subjects..."

And hence ATLAS and P-body were back to their testing business for workgroups. Ahahahaha. How funny.

First they looked over the chamber that they were dropped in now. It was extremely simple, even more simpler than their last test: a tube that dropped regular cubes, that were to be placed on a button and would activate the exit.

When suddenly the regular cube inside the tube fizzled and was replaced by something else entirely, that could best be described as a cube attached to two turrets that were strangely chirping something that to a typical human was gibberish but to the robots of impossible capabilities sounded like "Help me! This cruel leader has forced us to act as cubes!"

And also, the robotic equipment retracted one wall and put a monitor inside the chamber, which then flicked on to show the new manager.

"Hello, test sub- wait, these two robots aren't part of my plan. Whatever. You can stay, as long as you do absolutely nothing to disturb my new tests."

One of the monstrosities - "Frankenturrets" - was dropped into the chamber. As part of beginner's luck, it landed upright so it could walk _and_ directly facing the button. It made little hops to the button and finally landed on to it, and the door of the chamber opened."

Wheatley felt better than ever.

"Oh, that was good. Really good. Seriously, let's do it again." While Wheatley used more robotic equipment to push the first Frankenturret away and dropped a second one, ATLAS and P-body escaped to... management areas?

There were lights of science kind, more robotic equipment and catwalks that led elsewhere, but where, only someone with a presence over the entirety of Wheatley Laboratories could know.

As monitors showing Wheatley retracted everywhere, ATLAS and P-body tried to escape, but eventually were forced to jump down, looking at more test chambers and Wheatley faces, until at the bottom they reached an elevator shaft pulling them further below, and below, and below...


	3. The First Days of Aperture

_The Co-op Bots_

Chapter 3: The First Days of Aperture

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><p>ATLAS and P-body finally stopped falling. In relief, they looked around their new surroundings. Their chirps now could be made out as "where are we?".<p>

Unsurprisingly enough, the place was equipped with a pre-recorded message for any future visitors.

_I am Cave Johnson. CEO and founder of Aperture Science Innovators._

The bots shrugged. As, for some reason, they knew Aperture's history perfectly, they deducted that this must be the past, just as Cave had founded the facility for doing insane science.

_Now don't waste my time, people full of pride, because I'm not letting you out before you finish and I equipped a chip inside your brains that will make you insane, should you escape._

This was a confirmation of the foundation of Aperture Science: pure insanity for the name of science.

The bots looked at the other stuff instead.

P-body found the newspaper clips and diplomas Cave saved to prove that Aperture was at its peak of both pride and insanity. One headline read, _"LOCAL ENTREPRENEUR BUYS SALT MINE"_, and the diplomas were mostly second place for the United States level and first place for the Michigan level. _Obviously Black Mesa. _

But that was the least of their concerns, because they walked into the test.

The test had these things called "Mobility Gels". There were three kinds of them: the blue Propulsion Gel, which had a perfect bounce factor, the orange Repulsion Gel with the negative friction quotient and the white Conversion Gel, which would allow any surface to support portals. But this time, the robots weren't given portal guns right away.

_There must be another way._

Though, ATLAS and P-body weren't really of the testing kind. They just coated themselves in the blue gel, which was the only one in this room, instead, and did the really exciting thing where they got to jump around the chamber like crazy.

_It never ended._

They got to fly all around Old Aperture, bouncing off whenever they fell. They just needed not to touch the liquid that all the floors of the enrichment spheres was composed of, and everything would be fine.

They made it to the empty elevator shaft, and before they knew it they were flying up, back into the contemporary Aperture Laboratories.


	4. More Genius Decisions

_The Co-op Bots_

Chapter 4: More Genius Decisions

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><p>Wheatley had been working with the Frankenturrets for quite a time by now. The initial design, which was two turrets on a cube, remained unchanged. The test was also principally the same, but because of the concept of beginner's success, the Frankenturrets were no longer able to accomplish their one and only purpose, which was to walk onto buttons.<p>

Of course, the last thing he expected was for two human-sized robots coated in blue to fly in all of a sudden. What did they think they were, rockets from space?

The robotic disaster-causers then bounced all over getting half the panels in the room they were dropped in destroyed and half coated in blue as well (think 25% of them were undamaged). Wheatley immediately found the hydrogen peroxide and made the robots as white as Conversion Gel, dropping them somewhere else, and rebuilt his test, keeping the blue walls that made the turrets bounce.

Though, Wheatley didn't know about the gels. Even though he was probably a former Aperture employee, as a personality core he was forced to forget all he thought he knew about himself.

As it was absolutely predictable, the bots were on another chamber. The one with the floaty light tunnel. That made you float. Even though Wheatley's way of speech didn't fit here, as Wheatley didn't give a second thought about the two "test subjects" in huge quotation marks and just wanted to test the Frankenturrets. Even if, seemingly, they didn't cure the itch.

The test also was one of the simpler ones. Throw around the funnels, carrying the monstrosity of a cube that isn't the Sentient "Companion" Cube and get to open the door. It corresponded to Wheatley getting SLIGHTLY better, but not enough to have him be distracted from his mad sciences. This was bad.

ATLAS and P-body needed Wheatley's attention.

Until they solve this more complex chamber with black walls and floaty light tunnels. Or Excursion Funnels. They were just another test element that may be useful in real life, but it was damned to be stuck forever in the asylum of Aperture Science.

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><p><em>Author's whatevers do I look like I care?: You know which story the hydrogen peroxide part is from. For the next sentence, let's assume I don't. Review this story, and tell me whose genius I'm stealing.<em>


End file.
